prince stephen; unknown.

 Okay so I've decided this little blurb up here is going to go in the beginning of the story. A preface, if you will. And the following piece of the story is towards the end. Warning, it's a pretty graphic, angry scene. Lots of the F word.

The devil tells me,

What does it matter?

What difference does it make?

You'll always be you

A junkie

A liar

A disappointment

All the lies you told,

the things you've done

the people you hurt

if you loved them

how could you lie?

steal?

cheat?

betray?

All the things you've achieved

Mean nothing

Because in the end

I'll win

I'll win.

They may not see it

But I do

I see in your soul

And I know

You'll let me win

I'm just biding my time

I'll wait

I'm patient

I'll always be here

People, love, hate

May come and go

But me,

I'll always be here.

Always

Always.

          "Stephen, I don't think you get it..." her voice trailed off, ending in a restrained sob.
          "What? What is it I don't fucking understand? That you lied to me? That you were sticking needles in your arms while you're pregnant with our fucking kid?" He ran his fingers through his hair and pulled hard on his cigarette. He flicked it onto the ground and snatched her up by the arm. Tears were running down her face and she flinched as he shoved his face into hers.
          "Oh what? You're gonna cry now you fucking bitch? How fucking could you? I didn't even want the fucking thing in the first place. And now, after all this. After everything we've been through. After I stuck by you when my parents threw me out. After we found your fucking worthless cunt whore mother dead in your living room. After all the meetings and the rehab and the probation bullshit. AFTER ALL THAT, you're going to fuck it up. For what? For a 5 minute high? You could've killed the baby! You could've killed yourself, which at this point I don't even give a damn about. I just don't fucking get you Ellie."
          He shoved her away from him. She crumpled to the ground and started sobbing pathetically. She used the sleeve of her shirt to wipe her face and nose.
          "You're a fucking asshole!" she screamed between tears. "You're preaching at me about 'oh I could've hurt the baby' and blah blah blah and it was only a couple times! You just threw me on the fucking floor! What do you think that's gonna do to him? HUH? Not like you even give a fuck. You're probably happy about it you fucking dick. You never wanted him."
          He leaned down and stuck his finger in her face. "You're right. I didn't fucking want him. I don't even know if he's mine. If you lied about this, who knows. Maybe you were out fucking your dealer for dope. Wouldn't fucking surprise me."
          She sobbed and smacked him. His head whipped back.
          "FUCK YOU! Do you hear me? FUCK OFF YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE. I'm done. I know I fucked up and I'm sorry and I came to you and told you the fucking truth. And you're blowing this shit way out of proportion and all this bullshit is bad for the baby. He's fucking Riverdancing on my ribcage right now. I can do this my fucking self, I don't need you or anybody else."
          She struggled to lean forward with her huge belly in order to pull herself off the floor. The extra weight in the front threw her off balance and she kept falling back on her ass. Stephen laughed cruelly.
          "You can't even get off the fucking floor bitch. Good luck trying to do it on your own." He turned and left the apartment, slamming the door behind him.
          "Good! Fucking leave! You're just like everybody else in my fucking life. Shit gets hard, they walk out the fucking door. Great. Fan-fucking-tastic. Fucking worthless piece of shit."
          She stretched out on her back, the only position she could maintain at the moment, and sobbed. She could feel the teardrops rolling down her face, pooling in her ears and dampening her hair. "What the fuck am I gonna do?" she murmured to herself. "He's right. I can't even get off the fucking floor." This thought made her sob even harder. She sounded like a pathetic scene out of a movie. She felt pathetic. Part of her wanted to crawl after him, beg him not to leave. Tell him how much she loved him, that she needed him. That she didn't want to, couldn't, raise the baby on her own. The other part of her, the devil part, told her that in the next room there was a box that held the answer. A little chunk of what looked like brown sugar but tasted like heaven. A rush that was better than sex, better than anything. It was like a thousand orgasms all at once, happening all over your body. And it would make this feeling go away. Make the hurt stop. Make everything stop. Maybe she'd fall asleep and never wake up.
          She ran her hands along her giant belly. She could still feel him kicking, causing ripples in her skin. The devil voice told her, He knows you're thinking about it. He wants you to do it. He knows it'll make him feel good too. Her tears started to subside. But that's not fair, the angel voice said. You're making the choice, you know what you're doing. He doesn't. You want your baby to be born a junkie? You want to fuck him over before he even starts? 
          The devil voice was louder.