Ellie attempted to light her cigarette, the wind was making it difficult. Even with the side of the building as a breaker it managed to whip around the corner and extinguish the flame.
"Here, let me help," The Boy said. He cupped his hands around her lighter, bringing them close together. Ellie noticed the color of his eyes. They were a light brown, not quite hazel. They had looked dark from far away, but when they got close she noticed that there was light behind them.
"Thanks," she said, blushing and stepping back abruptly. He was making her feel awkward. Attractive people did that to her. She was painfully aware of how thin her hair was, how small her boobs were, how ungainly she was. She had zero self confidence and was completely inept at social situations. It was nice when she got high, she didn't feel that way anymore. She was untouchable. After she'd shot up, she'd tell herself she had her Superman cape on and she was good to go. The outside world couldn't touch her. But now her cape was gone and she was back to being regular old Ellie. Socially awkward Ellie. The goofy looking girl that people talked about behind her back.
"Do you want one?" she offered her pack to fill the silence.
"Sure, thanks." He took the pack and pulled one out, flicking the lighter and sparking it on the first try. He coughed slightly and his ears turned red in embarrassment. "I normally only smoke at parties, y'know, when I'm drunk," he explained.
Ellie shrugged. "It's a bad habit, but it's the only one I'm allowed now, so."
The Boy raised an eyebrow. "What d'you mean?" She looked at him and shrugged again. "What d'you mean what do I mean? I'm an addict. Anything else is off limits."
The Boy didn't reply, just nervously sucked on his cigarette. Ellie took a small step backwards, feeling even more embarrassed. "Where did you think you were? This is an NA meeting. All of those people in there are addicts."
His entire face flushed this time, the tips of his ears glowing in the twilight. "There's normally a different meeting on Thursday nights," he mumbled. "It's a support group."
"What kind of support group?" Ellie paused. "Or do you not want to talk about it?"
The Boy looked at the ground and scuffed his feet, throwing his smoke down. He took his time and deliberately stepped on it, twisting his foot to ensure it was completely out. "It's um. It's for people who have lost people... y'know. When they die and stuff."
"Oh," was all she said. "Um. Yeah.... That's uh... yeah. That sucks. I'm sorry."
He shrugged again and ran his fingers through his hair. "Not your fault. Just sucks. And now I feel kinda stupid for being in the wrong place."
"I think they rescheduled that group to Tuesday nights," she paused. "Want to hear something funny?"
He shrugged again. She wondered if that was his response to everything. "There was this one time I was trying to light my cigarette in the wind, kinda like tonight. Except I didn't have any help, my friends were all busy doing something else." Like cookin' dope, she thought. "And I squatted down and leaned forward, trying to block it on my own and the wind blew my hair in my face and it caught on fire. Burned half of it off, most of my eyelashes, and one of my eyebrows. I had to walk around like that for months."
The Boy looked at her, momentarily horrified. "That's fucking awful! Why would that be funny?" But after a second he started laughing. It was a quiet laugh that started in the back of his throat and got louder as it turned into a belly laugh. "Holy fuck that must've sucked. I'm trying to picture what you'd look like with no eyebrow. As mean as it is it must've looked hilarious."
"It did. It took me a little bit to get past it. Needless to say I didn't leave the house for awhile after that."
He was laughing hardcore at this point. "Yeah, I bet not."
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